.Publisher's Keep in mind: The following is actually the message of a character from Expedition 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reviewing the activities of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't written quite about specifics of this particular goal during the course of the month I have actually been actually listed below, generally for 2 main reasons: the 1st being that there has actually been extremely little opportunity to perform that type of writing, and the second thing is given that I'm unsure how pleasant I am sharing thought and feelings I provide friends and family with the rest of the globe.Well, clearly the globe modified today. What I point out or even carry out is actually really minor matched up to the importance of what occurred to our country today when it was actually assaulted by ... through whom? Revolutionaries is all we know, I think. Hard to know at whom to direct our rage as well as fear ...I had merely ended up a variety of activities this morning, the best time-consuming being actually the physical exams of all crew members. In an exclusive talk following that, the air travel doctor told me they were possessing a very bad time on the ground. I possessed no suggestion ...He defined the situation to me as greatest he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was astonished, then horrified. My initial thought was actually that this wasn't a real talk, that I was still listening to among my Tom Clancy tapes. It simply didn't seem achievable on this scale in our nation. I couldn't even think of the particulars, also just before the news of more devastation started being available in.Vladimir visited fairly rapidly, noticing that one thing incredibly significant was being actually gone over. I waved Michael into the module too. They were likewise astonished and also stunned. After we signed off, I attempted to detail to Vladimir as well as Michael as absolute best I could possibly the prospective immensity of this show of fear in midtown Manhattan and at the Government. They precisely knew and also were actually really sympathetic.I glanced at the Globe Map on the computer to find where over the planet our company were and noticed that our team were actually coming southeast out of Canada and also will be passing over New England in a few moments. I whized around the station until I discovered a window that would certainly provide me a view of New York City and got hold of the nearby camera. It took place to become a camera, and I was appearing southern from the window of Michael's cabin.The smoke seemed to possess a strange blossom to it at the bottom of the pillar that was streaming south of the city. After reading one of the newspaper article our experts just got, I think our company were actually considering NY around the time of, or even soon after, the collapse of the second tower. Just how unpleasant ...I swept the electronic camera all along the East Shoreline to the south to view if I might find some other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, yet absolutely nothing showed up.It was actually quite complicated to consider job afterwards, though we had some to perform, however on the following track our team moved across the US additional southern. All three people were actually functioning 1 or 2 video cameras to attempt to receive scenery of New york city or Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, however no details source can be viewed. It all looked astonishing from 2 to 3 hundred kilometers away. I can't envision the tragic settings on the ground.Apart from the mental impact of our nation being dealt with and also lots of our residents and also perhaps some pals being actually killed, the absolute most mind-boggling sensation being where I am is among seclusion.Following time ... I guess the tiredness and also mental pressure received the greatest of me. I could not keep awake and remain to create. Today was actually still hard, however our team started obtaining even more details, plus our team possessed the respect of talking directly with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, that assured us that the ground crews would remain to work and also ensure our security, and also the secure operation of the Place. We also talked to our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, that incorporated that the companions in the System are actually all absolutely dedicated to proceeding safe functions and also assistance. These were certainly never questions for me. I recognize all these folks! The ground groups have been actually exceptionally helpful, really understanding of the effect of the updates, as well as have attempted to be as useful as possible. They have actually all been actually really expert and centered though I can not picture the interruption of the kind of headlines can be found in as well as the thought and feelings that federal government properties may be at risk. They never ever missed a beat, even when transferring nerve center. And a group of senior employees and also buddies offered us a quite extensive instruction on what was actually understood as well as what was actually being actually carried out in the authorities as well as at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually extremely practical and also sort of them to accomplish in the middle of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has actually also been actually encouraging and also handy, trying to uplink news articles when our own resources were actually unusable, and also saying kind phrases ...My crewmates have been actually great, as well. They recognize it is actually been a difficult time for me as well as the people on the ground, as well as they've attempted to become as also keeled and helpful as achievable. Michael also fixed me my favorite Borscht soup for supper. And they provide me lots of room to assume when I required it. They are actually quite understanding and certainly shocked at whoever will perform this.I recognize numerous people in Washington, plenty of individuals that travel to DC and New York City, numerous who are actually aviators, that I felt sure I will get at the very least a handful of parts of trouble over the upcoming few days. I acquired the first one today when I knew that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that struck the Pentagon was actually Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I found Chic during plebe summer when our team remained in the D&B together, as well as our experts had great deals of courses with each other. I can not imagine what he must of gone through, as well as right now I listen to that he might possess increased further than our experts can even think about by potentially avoiding his airplane coming from being actually the one to deal with the White House. What a horrendous loss, however I'm sure Chic was fighting fearlessly to the end. And also rips do not flow the exact same precede ...It's tough to illustrate just how it feels to become the only American fully off the world at a time including this. The sensation that I must exist along with each one of you, taking care of this, assisting in some way, is actually mind-boggling. I understand that our experts get on the threshold (or beyond) of a terrible shift in the record of the planet. A lot of factors will certainly never coincide again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not only for the 1000s and also 1000s of folks directly had an effect on by these horrendous process of violence, yet perhaps for all of us. Our experts will certainly locate our own selves really feeling differently about lots of things, featuring possibly area expedition, regrettably.It's terrible to see smoke cigarettes putting coming from cuts in your own nation coming from such an amazing vantage point. The dichotomy of getting on a space probe devoted to improving daily life on the earth as well as checking out life being damaged through such unforced, terrible actions is jolting to the mind, despite that you are. And also the expertise that every little thing will certainly be actually various than when we launched by the time our experts land is actually a little disconcerting. I believe in our nation as well as in our leadership that we will certainly do everything feasible to better shield her and also our family members, and also to carry compensation wherefore has been actually performed. I possess assurance that the excellent folks at NASA are going to do everything important to continue our objective carefully and return our company safely at the correct time. And I overlook every one of you very much. I can't exist along with you in person, and our experts have a very long way to visit finish our purpose, yet be actually particular that my heart is along with you, and also know you are in my requests.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the final character ... Fortunately, it is actually been actually a busy full week up listed here. As well as to prove that, like our nation, we are actually advancing our designated pathway with business as usual (as much as possible). Tonight the most up to date addition to the place, the Russian Docking Compartment will certainly be released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday evening (US time), it will certainly dock along with our company, at a slot certainly never used prior to on the nadir side of the Service Component. This brand new component will provide our company an additional spot to dock a Progression or Soyuz as well as will certainly supply a big airlock with two useable hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan satisfies, which our team are going to carry out a few of before our company return.The trouble before in managing this week was actually insufficient headlines. The issue right now is excessive. It came simultaneously when e-mail was brought back, as well as there is actually inadequate time to review it all! Plus it's as well difficult to cope with all of it instantly. But I enjoy receiving it, and I actually value the great characters of assistance as well as relationship I am actually obtaining.Our team are actually flourishing aboard, obtaining our work carried out, as well as talking about factors. Last evening our team had a long discussion over supper concerning the importance of these activities, the possible actions to comply with, as well as what must be actually carried out. After supper, Michael challenged informing me that every email he acquired coming from pals in Russia mentioned especially to tell me how regretful they were actually that this taken place, stretching their acknowledgements, and also inquiring how I was actually carrying out. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "acknowledgements" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian and the English terms are considerably very lengthy to pronounce simply.) Quite kind people.For the last 2 days, the Russian MCC has been good enough to broadcast live shows of broadcast information about the occasion and linked stories, to make certain I was actually properly updated. Every professional that has actually started the line to go over a procedure or a concern contends some point expanded hellos to me with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom told our team that because of the big day of remembrance in the US, all day individuals had actually been delivering flowers and also edging all the wall surfaces of the United States embassy in Moscow, and also this evening they were lighting candlesticks in the road outside the embassy. Exactly how the planet has modified.Individuals all over appear to realize the senselessness and also horror in this assault. And also the tremendous loss. Moscow has handled these type of concerns in the last few years with condo and also subway battles, so they are actually as distressed to get rid of this danger as we are actually. Yet all-time low product line is that there are actually really good folks all over who intend to live in peace. I check out that a little one talked to, "United States is actually thus excellent to other nations, we consistently help everybody, how can they despise our team so much?".I wish the instance of participation and trust that this space capsule plus all individuals in the system display daily will one day influence the remainder of the globe to operate the same way. They must!Sadly, we will not be actually piloting over the US while individuals are actually lighting candles. Do not know if we could see that in any case. We performed, having said that, find a very unusual as well as beautiful view a handful of minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz booster. We were actually overtaking it and also it appeared about three minutes after its launch from Baikonur as the sunshine struck our terminal, so it was actually still at night. It looked like a large comet with a directly, wide tail silhouetted against the darker world beneath. Despite some negative lighting fixtures for a while as the sunshine hit our window at a reduced viewpoint, I dealt with some video of it as initially our company passed the rocket, and afterwards viewed it begin to mesmerize as it gained elevation as well as velocity. I filmed till major engine cutoff as well as booster separation took place just like our team came close to sunrise on the Himalayas. An unforgettable attraction in a remarkable full week ...Life takes place, also precede. We're listed below to remain ... Frank.